fun with web commerce

In theory web commerce is low-touch with minimal transaction costs (in the economic sense). In practice computers do what middle-managagement idiots tell developers to make them do. Behold.

Planet Fitness

As I mentioned before I recently rejoined Planet Fitness, as I will likely be stealthing much more in the coming months.

I got a surprise email from PF yesterday saying my account was canceled. What? I called in and talked to the manager, who said the webite burped and made two accounts and double-charged me but they were refunding. I logged into the card issuer and saw the double-charge and no evidence of refund thus far.

Uber Eats

Uber Eats has been sending me promos for months to try to get me to bite. I finally did and it was a train wreck.

First, some info on how such promos appear to work.

The promo amount is deducted from the food order. It does not apply to:

• any delivery fee
• Uber Eats service fee - it was ~25% on my attempted order[s].
• tip, which appears to be based on the food + service fee + delivery fee. Not sure of the logic of tipping on fees.

Anyhow, I maximized the promo value by loading up at just over $30 of food that could be divvied up and stored in the fridge. Went to pay:

THIS ACCOUNT NOT ELIGIBLE FOR PROMO

Then why repeatedly send it to me? You know who I am. The non-promo cost was $50.70. Nope.

I Googled a bit to see what’s going on. Appears to be mainly anti-fraud. Weird, as I’ve never used uber eats before.

The Uber Help page in the search result says to check the Promotions | Past Promotions section of your account. Empty. I went to the help page as instructed to get help on a failed promo but there’s nothing to see because there are no orders.

I got a note from Uber that says

We are currently reviewing your inquiry and we will reach out to you soon.

Not holding my breath, or my lunch plans.

uber update

 I’ve looked into this and it looks like this promotion was deactivated due to breach in our Terms of Use.

By others, I assume, since I’ve never used Uber Eats before. 

You can still continue to order from the app.

LOL. Would you if this were your first experience?

We understand that you are upset about this situation, 

I’m not upset.  I am confused why your company would spend money sending me promos then not letting me use them.  Sounds like the company needs to be shorted. 

{If you think I breached the ToS (I didn’t - I attempted to place an order with the promo code you emailed to me) then say that. If someone else breached the ToS then reissue a different promo to the people you know received the breached one and didn’t abuse it. }

but we do not have the ability to activate the discount or make additional accruals of the discount amount.

I didn’t ask for activation of the discount or additional accruals.  I want you to understand your automated processes are {causing you to lose business}.

more braindead support from Uber:

I understand that you have some problem which needs to be sorted out immediately. However, the information that you have provided here seems not enough for me to fetch you the correct resolution. Could you please elaborate on the issue for us to give further assistance?

I have already provided Uber with my account information (text and screenshot), promo information (text and screenshot), and the specific issue I had placing my first order. What else could you possibly need?

If you want elaboration on the issue you can read it {on this blog post}.

yet again

I’ve looked into this and it looks like this promotion was deactivated due to breach in our Terms of Use.

According to the Terms and Conditions, we reserve the right to disable promo codes/marketing campaigns. You can still continue to order from the app.

We understand that you are upset about this situation, but we do not have the ability to activate the discount or make additional accruals of the discount amount.

At this point I am semi-amused by the utter cluelessness of Uber Eats.

coda

My last reply to Uber support bounced:

450 4.2.1 The user you are trying to contact is receiving mail at a rate 
that prevents additional messages from being delivered

Hmmm. I wonder why.

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